My last post described my rock bottom. I was at a party and drank so much, I gave myself alcohol poisoning. My so-called “friends” and boyfriend didn’t want to get me help because they were drunk and afraid of getting in trouble, but thankfully a random girl at the party called an ambulance for me anyway. She is truly an angel, and I hope to be able to thank her when I leave here.
When I checked out of the hospital, I told my mom I needed to go to rehab. She was scared but supportive. We got a referral from the hospital to a rehabilitation center nearby, and I went in that same day.
I am on my last few days of a 30-day treatment program. The first few days were rough because I was detoxing, but it was easier than it could have been since I was coming straight from the hospital and having an IV.
In therapy, I had talked about my father, who had been an alcoholic and left my mom and me when I was little. I realize how angry I am with him, and how rejected I feel. It made sense that when I felt that same rejection at my new school, it made me vulnerable to my genetic predisposition towards alcoholism.
I am furious at Carmen and Mark and my boyfriend, and all my other “friends” that would have literally let me die at that party so they could keep drinking. Obviously, I will be severing ties with them after this. I only have a few weeks left before graduation anyway. It won’t be easy, but I am done with those people. I can make new, sober friends in college. Maybe I’ll make friends with that girl who called the ambulance. She didn’t even know me and was a better friend than Carmen.
I plan to stay in therapy and go to AA meetings to stay sober. I am really focused on college and making my mom proud after what I have put her through. She has cut back on her hours at work to be able to spend more time with me before I go away to university.
It’s going to be hard, but everything is going to be okay. Everything is going to be better than it was before, as long as I keep myself sober. My experience has given me a better understanding of myself and of alcoholism than ever before. I hope sharing my story has helped you, too.